Sunday, April 17, 2011


Wild Card Sunday is here again… I’m going to talk a little bit about anger.

I am so tired of being angry. I feel I am angry all of the time right now. I have no where to put this emotion. Even when I am not actively angry, something small and insignificant can just infuriate me. This is because I am not being able to get rid of the hurt/bad/irate feelings that build up at any given time.

How do you approach any situation to defuse it and talk about it when you KNOW you are over reacting and blowing things out of proportion because you aren’t in a good headspace in the first place.

It’s just effecting everything so badly. I’m angry I can’t seem to control my eating. I’m gaining weight. I’m angry that I am jealous that my friends around the net are losing weight.

I wanted to be a Big Eagle this coming term, but I clearly am not in a good enough head space to be levelheaded and mentor people. I don’t want them to have an experience like I did.

This is very random. My mind is jumping about to several topics. I hate that I am so angry about things I shouldn’t be angry about. You know, it has gotten to the point where I don’t even know when I am valid in being angry anymore. Maybe I SHOULD be angry, but I just can’t accept that at face value because I know I’ve been blowing things out of proportion.

I just need a vacation from my life.


Martha Susan Parham Dambrell said...

So sorry to hear that you are/were in this place. Hopefully, by now, you are feeling more calm and emotionally level. Remember that this one thing isn't what defines who you are. You are just being human. But it is probably good that you hate it - so you will work through it.

You have a great plan for yourself. Anger is a great sabotager (sp?). You are a remarkable person. "Keep on keeping on." I know having Sandi visit will be good for both of you.

*Hugs* to a champion Hugger!

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