Can’t Catch Me!

It’s sort of amazing. When you are building momentum by making choices that make you feel good, the universe gives you little signs that you are on the right path. For example, this weekend the zombies were after me! Well, I actually didn’t know they were there. But all of a sudden, they grabbed hold of my clothing! With great gusto I wrenched myself away form them. To achieve this feat though, my clothing ripped away and hung on their undead fingers. And what I was left with…. My brand new dress size. I’m down a dress size!!!

On my walls, I have a selection of clothing that I can’t wear yet. It helps remind me there are simple rewards waiting for reaching my goals. I am now able to wear the first piece. It's a nighty that my husband bought me two years ago. I thought it was lovely, but it was just too tight around the curvy bits. I can wear it now! While my hips are still a little snug in it, there is now wiggle room in other spots. I’m a happy girl with a new pretty blue nighty!

A day out

Today my wonderful husband and I went for a picnic at Rainbow Springs state park. It was lovely. The entire time we were eating and spending some much needed quiet time together.

After lunch, we had planned to walk a couple of miles through the park. However, it was just too hot. We did about 30 minutes of walking even though we were there for much longer. But we had to take frequent breaks because of the heat.

We got our lunch at Walmart. We picked up a sub to share, a package of strawberries, about 1.4 pound of fresh green beans and a lovely papaya! Oh, a cucumber too. We packed it all up in my basket and headed out.

Now, however, I am so frustrated because I really thought I would have no trouble finding the sub online. But apparently, nope. No nutritional information at all. So it is very difficult to track my points for the day.

Also, I broke one of my own cardinal rules. I was feeling a bit on the fat side earlier in the week. So I weighed in early. I was down an additional 2 lbs which is awesome. But when I do that, I obsess. So I weighed in this morning again… and NOT down those additional 2 lbs. It’s so stupid. I know that body weight can change drastically during a day. My weigh is in tomorrow.. you know the official one… and I had this huge half of a sub that I can’t track. So I am just feeling frustrated with myself at the moment.

Also… lesson learned. No early weigh ins. They make me crazy.

Anger

Wild Card Sunday is here again… I’m going to talk a little bit about anger.

I am so tired of being angry. I feel I am angry all of the time right now. I have no where to put this emotion. Even when I am not actively angry, something small and insignificant can just infuriate me. This is because I am not being able to get rid of the hurt/bad/irate feelings that build up at any given time.

How do you approach any situation to defuse it and talk about it when you KNOW you are over reacting and blowing things out of proportion because you aren’t in a good headspace in the first place.

It’s just effecting everything so badly. I’m angry I can’t seem to control my eating. I’m gaining weight. I’m angry that I am jealous that my friends around the net are losing weight.

I wanted to be a Big Eagle this coming term, but I clearly am not in a good enough head space to be levelheaded and mentor people. I don’t want them to have an experience like I did.

This is very random. My mind is jumping about to several topics. I hate that I am so angry about things I shouldn’t be angry about. You know, it has gotten to the point where I don’t even know when I am valid in being angry anymore. Maybe I SHOULD be angry, but I just can’t accept that at face value because I know I’ve been blowing things out of proportion.

I just need a vacation from my life.

Sunday Wildcard

Today is Sunday and that means it's wildcard day. I might choose a topic from any other day of the week to revisit, or choose another of those headings to write about. Today I'm going to be talking about what is on my mind, like Thursdays.

Courtesy - noun - excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.

I feel a general lack of courtesy is a huge problem with this country. It is CERTAINLY a huge problem with my neighbors.

Is it so much to ask that one not play their music so loudly that the bass permeates my entire house? The alarm clock didn't wake me up today, but the BASS did. This gets me so incredably angry that I am having trouble containing myself on the the subject. A little background.

I cannot handle people's bass. It sounds silly, and most people don't understand. But base that I can feel through my house and in my chest makes me physically ill. I will literally be sick but worst of all, it triggers my Flight response. All I can think about is running away from the feeling.. from the 'noise'. I can't sit. I can't think. I can't eat... all I can do is try to figure out how to make it stop.

I don't even know which house the music is coming from because I can't hear that part. But I can feel their freaking bass throughout my entire person. There isn't a room in the house I can escape too... We've called the police before when it got so bad that hubby had to take me away from the house because I was just ill. But it always ends up that when the cop is actually here, there isn't any music playing so who knows where it is coming from. I don't live in a traditional neighborhood, but I am surrounded by farms and dirt road communities.

How can you be such an asshat as to think the entire damn world needs to hear YOUR music.

I hope these people are slow... Go on and fiddle with your damn loud music and your freaking AWFUL BASS... zombies love slow food.