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I have been quiet lately. That doesn’t mean that I have been slacking of or anything though. I, for some reason, have just been feeling quiet. It might be because I have just been concentrating on taking care of me for a while. In any case, I thought it was time to share some progress.

(On a side not, I’m happy with my typing progress. The entire top paragraph was typed, without error, while watching my husband dance to Pink’s Raise Your Glass)

We had some bad news, which I may or may not have shared. But Hubby’s internship came to an end and he wasn’t hired on permanently, so he is out of work again. It’s just a bad time to be looking for work, but that isn’t really news these days, is it. But something we struggle with continually is not falling into a depression over the situation we find ourselves in. We lost our house not too long ago and steady well paying work hasn’t been seen in well over a year now. We are lucky to have people we can rely on and a place to live, but lets not pretend the blah’s and sadness don’t creep up more than we would like them to.

I used to be an emotional eater. I’m a recovering emotional eater? I’m not sure what to call it. When I am sad, depressed, bored… I want to eat. But I’m not. Since starting weight watchers, I just feel like I somehow out of the depths of my soul or something, have pulled the ability to control myself. I’ve developed self control. That doesn’t mean that I don’t indulge now and then, but I do it because I want to and not because I am REACTING to the situation around me. The urges are still there though. And each day is a little bit of a struggle. Those of you who live in a household where you don’t control what food is around will be able to commiserate with me. When you have a sweet tooth, but don’t want to just binge on sweets, but the cabinets are full of cookies, cakes and donuts, it’s a special kind of hell.

I am persevering though. This Monday when I weighed in, I not only hit my 10% lost, but I hit 30lbs gone. THIRTY POUNDS… that’s a toddler. A TODDLER, PEOPLE! I posted it on Facebook. And some of my friends asked for a photo. So I asked hubby to take one of me. As I was loading the picture onto my computer, I decided to clear the memory card and sort all of my pictures.

Oh. My. GOD. I found pictures from before I started WW. They are pictures from the beginning of the year, around my birthday. I almost cried. I feel so sorry for the girl in those pictures. I barely recognized me. I finally realized that no, I’m not imagining my clothes are fitting loser. I’m not imagining that I can actually see my smile better when I smile. I’m not imagining that I really CAN fit into that shirt that was too small at the beginning of the year. This is really happening. I am really making it happen.

It sounds silly I realize, but somewhere in the back of my head, all of the little results I was seeing were because I wanted to see results. They weren’t because my efforts were actually paying off. I knew the numbers on the scale were moving, but it’s hard to really put that into perspective for yourself.

So… would you like to see the pictures?

Around 280

Around 250

I can certainly see the difference.

Can’t Catch Me!

It’s sort of amazing. When you are building momentum by making choices that make you feel good, the universe gives you little signs that you are on the right path. For example, this weekend the zombies were after me! Well, I actually didn’t know they were there. But all of a sudden, they grabbed hold of my clothing! With great gusto I wrenched myself away form them. To achieve this feat though, my clothing ripped away and hung on their undead fingers. And what I was left with…. My brand new dress size. I’m down a dress size!!!

On my walls, I have a selection of clothing that I can’t wear yet. It helps remind me there are simple rewards waiting for reaching my goals. I am now able to wear the first piece. It's a nighty that my husband bought me two years ago. I thought it was lovely, but it was just too tight around the curvy bits. I can wear it now! While my hips are still a little snug in it, there is now wiggle room in other spots. I’m a happy girl with a new pretty blue nighty!

Part of the solution?

It’s Thursday here at the zombie blog. And that means it’s time to delve into a random thing I have been thinking about. I have to show you this T-Shirt graphic I found.

How perfect. Zombies are part of the precipitate. They are what is left over. They are what falls out of the stream. They are everything you wish you had done but came up with an excuse not to.

I want to be a part of the solution. This morning has been good. Yeah, I actually said that. It has been a good morning. I woke up, and despite having a stiff neck and nightmares, I greeted my hubby with a cheerful good morning. Then he asked me to go to the track this morning.

I wanted to resist going to workout with every fiber. However, we have a deal. If one of us manages to come up with the gumption to go do something physical, the other person MUST be supportive and cannot opt out of going. (Barring severe illness or injury of course) So what I really wanted to say was…. I don’t want to. But I will go if you want me to. I didn’t say that. I said… Ok. I had my breakfast shake, got dressed, and we went to the walking track, puppy in tow of course.

It was HOT despite the fact it wasn’t even 11 yet. But we went and we started walking and we didn’t go fast. I have lost my stamina. I need to recondition my body. But we went and we walked and we talked like old times. It was so much fun. Admittedly, the working out headaches have come back and I am disappointed about that. However, I walked the full mile. We stopped for just a couple of minutes to sit in the shade. This was mostly because we are all, Lucy included, getting used to being active in the heat again. I am so proud of myself. I really am. I am proud that I didn’t say no this morning. I am proud that I walked the full mile. I am proud that I am being honest about how I feel about it.

Lunch wasn’t terribly healthy. It was burritos with the trimmings. But I wrote it all down. I wrote down everything I ate yesterday. I am doing well for day 2 now. I feel like there might actually be some light at the end of this tunnel. Now, as soon as we can afford it, I’ll get my body bugg up and running again. Right now, I am listening to my body. I am eagerly waiting to notice that my knees don’t hurt as much, or I don’t get winded so quickly.

I am realizing now how important these things were to me before. When all that mattered to me were the numbers on the scale, I didn’t realize how much these non scale related signs meant to me. Just like when I lost 25lbs in a month and didn’t realize what an accomplishment that was. Having fallen way down and needing to pick myself up again is allowing me to see all of those things that were so important but that I was so obsessed with other things to notice.

Y Hello There!

I did it! I made good on a promise to myself. I worked out today!

When I got myself out of bed this morning, the very first thing I did was get dressed in my gym gear since it was already right there hanging up for me. I had a breakfast shake and took care of a couple of errands around the house while my husband was out running a few errands.

By the time he got home, my motivation was sorely lacking. I felt myself slipping into that smae old rut. So I went to go find him where he was taking care of a few things. I told him I needed help. I didn't want to go and I had no energy. He told me we were going. He did it nicely. But he also didn't leave room for argument.

So I went and boiled myself two eggs and had two pieces of toast. Normally I am starving after being done with the gym. I didn't want to feel like that so I had some more substantial breakfast. We packed the gym bag and went to the gym.

Do you know? I love our Y. It's just so awesome and the energy there is wonderful. There were no classes running right at that time we wanted to do so to our favorite ellipticals we went. I am so proud of myself. I did 2.02 miles in 35 minutes! I haven't worked out in MONTHS... literally. I am so happy wiht my results.

Also. I weighed in this morning. I am a little less than one pound away from my goal for this week. Knock me over with a feather. That means with a little effort... not even extra effort. A little effort will result in my being able to reach my weekly goal within a couple of weeks. I can still hit my 12 week goal without killing myself. This is so exciting.

These are all things that before last night I wouldn't have attempted or even thought about. I just 'knew' I was so far away from my goal that there wasn't even a point in trying to reach it anymore. I 'knew' it had been so long since we went to the gym there wasn't a point in going anymore. Well last night, if nothing else, taught me I was wrong about MANY things I 'knew'.

The Knitty Gritty
Elliptical 35 minutes.
2.02 Miles
Calories burned: TBA
C25K D1 W1

Day 2

Slight setback today. I went over calories. Oh well. It's only the second day. You know what did it? Dessert. I do not plan to have dessert every day. The funny thing was, it was cookies. I had four. As I was finishing the fourth one, I told my husband that I should have stopped after two. The second one didn't taste as good as the first one, and the last one surely didn't. If I had stopped after 2, I would be in range also...

But I am not going to beat myself up over it either. Before I go to bed I will check my calories burned. But I know it's going to be higher than yesterday. Progress right there!

I have a couple of crazy packed days coming up but I'm getting ready to start exercising again. I know it sounds funny to need to get ready to do it. I'm just moving things around because I am prioritizing exercising. I mostly miss walking. But I know, just like last time, as soon as I get back into walking I am going to miss the gym. So I'm going to get an updated class schedule and work in a Zumba class once or twice a week along with the walking. Then I'll get back to the elliptical.

It's funny. I know it's going to be hard this time, but atleast I am still looking forward to the actual working out. I'm not looking forward to the drive, expecially once it gets hot outside, but I do miss moving.

My knees have been really troublesome. I think it's because of the extra weight creeping on, and a touch of arthritis. But there are other things... It's hard to tie my shoes. It's hard to put pants and socks on. I just can't move. I hate that feeling. Despite always being over weight I have been proud of my flexability. I am losing it! I can't do the things I used to. I need to get that back. I feel like I am losing a piece of myself.

And I think it's worth saying it. One of my main goals continues to be... I want to be in control of food instead of it being in control of me. I actually felt a little bit tonight like I was getting a handle on that despite being over on calories. There is progress already, and I am really excited about what tomorrow brings.

ETA:
1/2
Calories in: 2125
Calories out: 2344
H2O in: 8c

Control

I am starting to feel slightly in control again. I don't want to jinx it or anything, but I am beginning to think that I am on an upswing here.

I tracked all of my food for the second day in a row. Today, I had a deficit of 1437 calories. This makes me feel so much better about the 3000+ calories consumed yesterday. I wasn't even trying to cut back on calories today. All I did was try to concentrate on eating only when I was hungry.

I think it's more than that though. I'm working on a schedule for myself. I have things I need to get done. It's November, so I am working on NaNoWriMo. Also, the bad news I mentioned briefly? Hubby and I have been spending time looking for a lawyer to help us deal with it. This has taken up time and energy too.

I'm just reaching that point where I am tired of having bad days and I am ready to move forward and feel powerful and in control.

Did I mention that for NaNoWriMo I am writing about Zombies? I bet you could have guessed it. So far, no corn-dogs though. I want to win this battle.

I took some pictures of food today. I was enjoying journaling about what I ate that day. Tonight I made spicy shrimp over rice with a garden salad on the side. Dinner was amazing. I'll post the recipe and pictures tomorrow.

Oh my late night snack tonight though? Absolutely indulgent. A bowl FULL of pomegranate seeds. How I love this time of year!
****************
BLOG HOP!

Look out shins!!

Today was a gym day. I WENT! HA! So there is some success already. Also, we took our good friend Sandy with us, since she wanted to see what the Y was all about. You can never have too many folks ready to whip some zombie booty. Be prepaired folks.

I showed her around and we put our junk in the locker and I was just about to suggest we go hop on the ellipticals when we saw the class schedule. She happened to notice that we were just in time for cardio kickboxing. I was a bit leery about this. I just didn't know if I could handle it. Well she really wanted too, and of course my hubby enthusiastically said he would do the class too... so naturally, I did the class.

I got a bit freaked out when one of the trainers told us not to forget that we could rest when ever we wanted to. The instructor was new and would work us hard.

oh god...

Well I am still here! I am very proud to say that I made it through the workout and it was actually really fun. I don't kick very high, but I'm just starting. I overdid it a little bit and ended up with a slight headache, but I was able to figure out how to bring my intensity down and that helped. The instructor was really great and friendly and upbeat and gave us alternative moves if we need to be at a lower intensity than she was running.

After that we did about 15-20 minutes of elliptical just because I was really looking forward to it and wanted to. I needed to stop though.

I am so proud of myself. I did a 55 minute cardio class. I can freakin rule the world!!!

Now... watch out for your shins zombies, here I come!

According to my bodybugg, the time of the class, from 4:30 -5:30 I burned 506 calories!!! I was actually really floored as I noticed at one point I was burning 14.2 calories a minute. In the grand scheme of things, I don't know what it all means yet. But I do know that I am feeling a bit more confident in my body and just really proud of myself right now.

It is official...

I am awesome.

The last two months I've been feeling... well...

::shuffle shuffle::

:BBBRRRRAAAIIIIIINNNNNSSSSSSS:

Pretty much sums it up. Today we were scheduled to go to the gym with a friend of ours who is interested in joining. Unfortunately she's not feeling well today. But do you know what????

WE WENT ANYWAY!!!!

Oh yes we did. I am now home from a nice workout at the gym! Here are the particulars of it all. I decided to start C25K again. This time though, I am doing it with a twist. I'm doing it on the elliptical. Sure it won't work exactly the same, but who cares really?

So I put the elliptical on 'Weight Loss'. It runs a series of intervals at 4/1 and 10/8 ? (I think it's 10/8, I'm not 100% sure now. It looks right though) Because the intervals for the C25K are off sync with the elliptical intervals it kept things really interesting. It was FUN. I was pouring buckets of sweat and enjoying it. How did this happen?

Those zombies are in trouble. Let me tell you. Okay, so step 1 is avoiding corndogs, and step 2 is keep the elliptical fun.

So I did a total of 35 minutes. In that time I did 2 miles! I was slowing down for cool down at the end, and went slowly for just another few minutes and did an additional .02 miles or something like that. But I wanted to see how fast I could do .10 miles. So for my last .10 I hustled!!! I did it in a little over a minute! It was a minute and 20, or a minute and 30... I have nothing to write with there so some of the numbers end up as ranges, you know?

Anyway, to sum up.... I am crazy proud of myself. I am about to go add stickers to my poster of awesome, and then go have lunch!

The zombies have not eaten me!

No they have not. I have succeeded in thwarting them! So you might ask, where have I been? Well my best friend was here for a week visiting. I don't go online when she is here because my computers are also in the guest room. We've decided the cardinal rule is to never wake a lseeping baby and as her little man is growing every day, he needs a lot of sleep. It's better to just unplug while she is here. :)

I will admit there was temptation. In celebration of the visit, we baked a tray of brownies. We don't get to see each other nearly often enough. But I am proud to say it took us the entire week to eat them.

This is a huge achievement when not too long we would have polished the tray off the same night we baked it. I'm really proud.

Also, I have lost 2 lbs! Hurray! That is pretty awesome for not having been to the gym in almost a month. I miss it fiercely.

I am waiting for a phone call to have my Bodybugg coaching session this afternoon. Then, since the weather is actually nice today, I think I am going to go to the track. I might alternate days at the Y with days at the track now that the weather is turning nicer. I do love walking outside.

I am also hoping to be back to regular posting. I do have some dates coming up that I will be offline again as I don't have a mobile blogging device of any kind. This weekend I have a day away at my Aunt and Uncle's house, and the following weekend I will be away for a wedding.

It will be a good test of my new WANT power. It's all good practice. Progress is slow, but I'm learning quite a lot.

PS... I am so behind on everyone's blog. I will be trying to catch up!

Success and then Confessions...

Today going to the gym was absolutely fantastic. First thing was first. I hadn't done my strength workout since APRIL. *Hangs head in shame* I know, I know. I know how important it is to build muscle as well as shed fat. I know this. I just tend to get tunnel vision. I have decided to widen my tunnel.

I mean let's look at this practically for a moment. Just RUNNING from the zombies isn't enough. Invariably you are going to run down an alley with a huge fence at the end, or one of those giant trash thingies. So what do you do? Make yourself cozy on a table cloth and welcome the horde to the buffet? No of course not! You're going to vault yourself over the huge trash thingie, or pull yourself up over that big fence. And you will run to your freedom!!! Or even better, run to the nearest Amunation and blow the unliving crap out of the horde following you. But this is still better done from the safety of somewhere high. Be careful not to fall, I don't want to be sued because your clumsy. After-all, all of the lawyers might have been eaten by then.

So I started out with my strength workout. There are several circuits at the YMCA. The beginner circuit is called the green circuit and I got all set up on it with a personal trainer when I first started. I am happy to report I have not LOST progress since I stopped doing it. I was still able to complete my circuit and feel good about it. I even discovered one or two places where I need to increase my weight.

After the strength training came C25K training. Since I couldn't complete it last time, I am back to counting this as W2D1. I did it! I learned from my mistakes last time. I slowed my pace back down to what was comfortable, but still challenging for me. I positioned myself between Roger and a Machine that wasn't working so I wouldn't have to deal with weird creepy people. I kept pep talking myself the entire time. The first two run sections were easy. It got hard after that though. So all through the runs I kept chanting in my head... "This is easy. You can do it! Your body is capable of great things! Only another few seconds. Just ten more seconds..." You get the picture. It helped carry me through the really rough pars. I am doing it though. I really am. I went 1.31 miles in 30 minutes. Yey!

I was experiencing some pain in my right leg and ankle though. So from there it was to the quiet room to stretch. I love that our Y has a cool, darker, quit room for stretching and AB work. I spent the next few minutes stretching out my legs, and that really seemed to help with the pain. While this was going on, Roger ran into a friend of his who stopped in.

It got me thinking. Working out is probably the last place you want to run into someone you know. You are sweaty, you stink, and if you're like me, look like hell by the end. But then, if someone can see you and hang out with you while you are in this state, you KNOW they have got your back when the invasion hits. I mean there's not always time for a shower when you're protecting the world from brain lusting aberrations, now is there. roger sees me in my 'I've been at the gym for a few hours' state and still loves me. That's true love right there.

Anyway, after stretching it was elliptical time! It was AWESOME! I did a weight loss program on the elliptical. Basically, it varies the levels of intensity. I did the entire thing on a resistance of 4, but my cross ramp height switched between a 4 and a 10 depending on if it was high or low intensity. OH MAN can you tell when it switches to that 10! For the first 30 seconds or so, each time, I almost felt like I couldn't do it. But then the discomfort faded and I was gliding into the sunset. I did an additional 35 minutes on the elliptical. 2.05 miles! 325 Cal. Whoo!! I'm excited.

Okay. Celebration and excitement... and now time for the confession.

I should have felt on top of the world. I did feel on top of the world. I felt on top of the world until I got home, showered and waited for Roger to shower so we could decide on dinner.

Ah food... my love... my nemesis. We spent the next several HOURS... and even now still to a degree being miserable. MISERABLE. Why? Well... because food is a sensitive subject. Times are tough right now as they are for most people. So we NEED to eat the food we have in the house. Yet, there is noting in this house that we want. What we WANT is to go out, eat whatever we want, have someone else serve it and someone else take it away. Tonight, it wasn't even the old fallback of 'I don't want to cook'. I didn't mind! But there was NOTHING. NOTHING. NOTHING I wanted that we had. I have an issue. Eating something I do not want, does nothing for me. Oh I know it's feeding my cells, but I -feel- completely unfulfilled and therefor want to keep eating until I do feel fulfilled. So I don't eat if its something I don't want. I know it's just going to trigger an awful cycle. However, not eating leads to crankiness, and eventually nausea and headaches for me. Not to mention I just burned over 500 calories. I need to refuel. So Roger did the smart thing and just made something... ANYTHING. It was healthy... brown rice, chicken breast and mixed vegetables. It was even tasty. However, I didn't want it. I ate it, but I didn't want it. So therefore, I didn't really enjoy it, and now I still want to go eat because I don't feel fulfilled in anyway.

I feel so stupid for feeling this way.

I have a list of goals that I want to accomplish with this weight loss journey. Some of them are physical, like I want to be able to cross my legs, or I want to be able to wrap a normal size towel around me. Some of them, however, are deeply emotional to me. One of them... is to feel in control of food instead of feeling it is in control of me.

I feel controlled... I don't like it.

If I glide, they won't hear me coming...

Because zombies are notoriously bad of hearing, right? No... not really. Notoriously bad at staircases? Yes!! Ah, well then. My training was not for nought then.

I went back to the Y today and attempted w2d2 of c25k. Today did not go well. I made it through one and a half run sessions. There were several factors working against me.

1. My right foot and leg were hurting me by the end of the first run section. I have noticed that I seem to 'lead' with my right foot. I always feel as though that leg is striding forward and my left foot is just catching up. The Educated Rabbit tells me he cannot see a difference in my stride, so it cannot be as bad as it feels. However, I am always suffering fatigue in my right leg because of it. If I am thinking about it and concentrating, I can shift my leading leg to the other leg. I wish however, there was a way I could just run evenly on both legs.
   
2. The creepy guy on the treadmill next to me. This isn't entirely accurate. There was girl on the treadmill next to me, and he was hanging out at her treadmill. I am not sure what it was about the guy that totally gave me the willies, but he did. Also, he was so freaking loud. I had to have my headphones turned up almost to painful to block him out. The comments he was making to the girl he was with just bothered me. He was constantly yelling at her to go faster and trying to adjust the controls on her machine to which she was screeching and whining shrilly to get him to stop.
   
3. I over did it. I tried to match T. E. R's pace from our last session. His stride is remarkably longer than mine is however. By trying to match his pace I burned myself out very quickly. My body just needed more time to recover.
   

So, things to work on. Run on BOTH legs. Learn to block out creepy individuals. I mean, he was not nearly as bad as the zombies, you know? The second tactic of course being, train hard enough to out run the creep. I think outrunning creepy men might even take more training then outrunning creep zombies. Go back to my comfortable pace, for now. There will be plenty of time and opportunity to push myself, but right now, I need to make it through the workouts.

The good news is when I felt like I was going to fall down foff the treadmill, we went to go stretch. I stopped to use the rest room and was actually feeling calmer and less pain in my legs than a few minutes earlier. So T. E. R and I decided to hop on the ellipticals for a little while.

When we first started going to the Y we tried these. I kid you not, after 2-3 minutes I felt like I was going to die. DIE. DIE a horrible undeath of zombie agony... But this time... Well. I ran on the elliptical for 20 minutes! TWENTY MINUTES after 30 minutes on the treadmill! I am so freaking proud of myself. I am so thrilled at the progress I have made. Best of all... IT WAS FUN!! Now we have two machines at the Y that we have a good time on. It's been a good day!

Progress

I returned from the YMCA successful! Tonight was really a test in determination. I didn't go to the gym at all last week. As you might notice, its Wednesday now, and I hadn't been at all this week either. Last night I was trying to think of a way to get out of going today, I admit it. Well, I didn't get out of it, and I managed to get myself excited about going. Then the car died.

This is how it will be in the end you know. They will evacuate the area, because of the zombie invasion. You'll holkd out just like people do during hurricane evacuations. When you finally decide... you know, the begonias just aren't holding back the legion of undead like I thought they might, we really should evacuate... You will find out your car battery is dead. So what do you do? Do you go back in the house and start clearing off your kitchen and coffee tables to block the windows off? Of course not! You grab yourself a machete and go steal a car to get theheck out of dodge!!

So in the spirit of not being defeated, we manually cleared the shrubs, bushes and wild foliage around where we park so another car could be driving up. This was an upper body workout in itself and got the car jumped. Then we hauled our sweaty mosquito bitten bodies to the gym and ran. Oh yes my friends, this chubby chica completed Week 2 Day 1! It was my fourth attempt and I did it! YES I DID. WHOO!

It was totally worth it.

But seriously... when they say the zombies are coming, its time to evacuate... just do it. :)

Where it all began...

I did not go to the Y on Wednesday....

But don't come down on me yet. Just listen...

One might say I am zombie obsessed. (I would never know where this notion came from...) Or, at the very least, that I have a fondness for them.

This is thanks to the Resident Evil franchise. It's a fantastically wonderful game series which spawned an entertaining movie series. We're not talking academy awards or anything, but if you like zombies, and watching people blow them up, it's a good time!

So then a little over a year ago, The Educated Rabbit and I were walking at the trail head. WE are both Role Players, and have been for years. We're also extremely lucky to have a couple live near to us who are our very good friends, and also very good role players. Trust me, as role players you find yourself to be blessed when you actually have a group near by, and extremely lucky when all of the players are GOOD. So the idea was spawned to create a RPG about Zombies and taking place in the Resident Evil World. The Educated Rabbit runs it, and the three of us are players. It has been a booming Success.

It has also fed my Zombie Mania...

I also have a new appreciation for Polynesians, Pineapples, Cars, and big guns... but that's another story.

Anyway... As we all know, I am secretely training for surviving the Zombie Apocalypse by Avoiding Corn dogs... and learning to run. Yesterday I went for my first run outside... in the place it all began. I ran at the Trail Head. It was amazing to have finished my run. I almost completed w2d2 of c25k. I didn't QUITE make it. But I'm getting better.

I am sure I would not outrun the zombies yet. Not even a little... but I'm getting there!

No I am not a vampire!

I infact, CAN be seen outside during daylight hours! It's just been too darn hot here in Florida to venture outside while the sun is still hanging in the sky. It has not been uncommon for it to hang out around 90 degrees in the shade, all the way until the sun sets. Now add the fact our humidity is out of control... and we have a complete avoidance of the outside.

This really upsets me, actually. In New York, where I grew up, the early evening hours of spring and summer were some of my favorite times. I love the blue grey light and the warm gentle breezes. We, of course, had humid days too, but not to the constant extent that we do here in Florida.

Yesterday started out as one of -those- days. You know the days I am talking about. You wake up sad or angry, have a headache, feel under the weather, and generally just want to spend the day doing nothing waiting for tomorrow. It started out as one of those days. I spend most of the day doing not much, and waiting for tomorrow. But then around 7:00 I decided I wanted to go for a walk. Far be it for me to turn down an opportunity when I actually WANT to go outside.

So the Educated Rabbit and I got dressed in appropriate 'outside' clothes; grabbed our MP3 players and headed out to the trail head we like to walk at. I lucked out completely. The weather was fantastic. It was warm, but not unbearably hot, and it was humid, but not terribly so. (This is Florida afterall) So not only did I walk, but I actually continued my training. -ON TIME-

I almost skipped a training day. Thankfully, I actually managed to kick my own rear into shape to get out there and get going. The exciting news is that I was almost able to complete the whole thing this time. Technically, I still consider myself to be on W2D1 because I haven't 'completed' it yet. I am -THIS- close though. The only thing was, I had to pause it in between my last two run sections. I just needed a few extra minutes to recover before finishing strong. I am really proud of myself.

Take that world!

The hidden dangers of.... things hidden

I actually recorded and tracked all of my food today. And just as I was about to congratulate myself on a job well done, I then looked at my total calories eaten!!

For the love of all things holy! I overate by 1000 calories.

::shuffle shuffle:: BRRRAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSS ::shuffle shuffle::

I think I hear them coming closer.

Seriously, 1000 calories? That is almost all of tomorrow's calories. It certainly opened my eyes to how out of whack my perceptions of food have become. I am way out of practice. It's time to get back to it.

Incidentally, I realized today when it comes to fighting zombies, you should walk softly and carry a big gun. That way, hopefully they won't hear you. If they do hear you, you happen to have a big gun you can blow their brains out with. (which depending on if it has just eaten means aiming for the had or the stomach.) Barring that, there is the old fall back of RUN THE HECK AWAY! This is the part I was training for today. Yes indeedy, I went to the Y.

HOLY COW. Let me tell you something. Those extra 30 seconds of jogging added in are nothing to sneeze at. They are something to pant and sweat and swear at! But I did it anyway. I DID NOT manage to run the full intervals with the exception of the first and second to last one. But I don't care. I am improving and I felt so good having completed it. I even added an additional 5 minutes of walking onto the end. I want to keep adding walking time so that I am walking a full 30 minutes extra on top of the running portions. Walking just makes me FEEL good.

There is this wonderful sensation that comes over me sometimes when I am doing a run section. When I am into the music and am able to fully concentrate on my running and breathing, I feel like I am flying. I can feel a smile just take over my face and I wonder when I became a girl who smiles while running. I'm 281lbs as of this morning. My highest recorded weight ever, and I feel like I can do something.

Now. If I could just get the pain in my calves to go away while I am running, things would be golden! But Not too much at once ey?

I'm totally a fat girl running. Before Spark I wouldn't have even given this concept a thought. You need to BE thin to start running. Running just makes you strong and keeps you thin, right? Where do we get these notions from. Is it because no one ever told us we could? Is it because people told us we couldn't? I know that a great deal of my self doubt stems from school. I could never complete the mile run in high school. I was overweight then too, but not by this much. So if I couldn't do it then, I sure as heck can't do it now, right?

WRONG!!! WRONG!!! All of it! So Wrong!

The truth is, if your body will take it, (and it will take so much more than you think it will) than YES YOU CAN DO IT! And anyone who has a problem with you or the fact you are trying to meet your goals be damned!

So get a good look at it now Zombies. Fantasize about it super-sized with cheese a drink and a dinky plastic toy, because I am running this fat tush right off!

Achieve!

Today was a good day. I seriously feel like I can do this. It happened when I was running actually. I completed another day of week 1 C25K. I am so proud of myself. I even preformed better than I had last week. I walked at a 2.5 for the entire time, and 5 of my running sessions were at 3.0 and 3 of them were at 3.2.

Something just happened when I was running. Something inside me just changed. I was running along listening to my podcast on my MP3 player and suddenly I could feel this smile on my face. I was huffing and puffing and sweating and SMILING? There was this transformation going on inside my head. I saw myself running as I was, but the treadmill just kept on going and going. As I ran forward I would run out of my old body and my new body would be a little stronger, a little sleeker, and little more healthy looking, and It wold happen again and again. The feeling was so exhilarating. It certainly for me over the hard parts.

I think I will be ready for week 2 sooner than I anticipated!

Running Running Running!!

Well I did it! I got my tushy up off the couch and actually got moving. I know there was no post yesterday, but I was THINKING about posting. I didn't succumb to the legions of the night or anything.

Actually, it was a meh, day as far as the journey to better health. The journey to saving the world however made some progress. My best friend is going through some tough times right now, and I spent the morning talking to her and doing my best to offer council and just be an ear. The rest of the day was spent with our Role-playing group defeating legions of the night in character.

I remembered to take a photo of my brunch, but dinner and dessert got lost in the shuffle. So no picture blog for yesterday. However, I am right on track with taking photos today. Also, I will post the photo's from the other day also. I took them all, I was just too tired to post before bed.

Okay, All caught up from yesterday? Good. Moving on!

Today I had a good healthy breakfast but was waffling about pretty heavily about doing any kind of exercise. I really wanted to keep my commitment to myself to continue with the C25K program, but I was feeling so lazy. I was hesitant to voice this to my husband, The Educated Rabbit, because I think deep inside I knew he would make me -DO- something. I made myself tell him how I was feeling. He told me to put my shoes on and he would take me to the gym.

So I put my good awesome running shoes on and got ready to go. I nearly lost my motivation again. Well how about I stop lying right there. I LOST my motivation again. He sat down to write a post he needed to get off his chest and I lost all willpower to make the best of the day. I told him I didn't want to go. I gave him my best wifey doe eyes... you know these eyes. These are the eyes Puss in Boots pulls on you before he whips out his rapier and pierces you through the earlobe or something.

He reminded me of the promise I asked him to make. When I was feeling strong I told him how important this journey was to me. (Afterall, ::shuffle shuffle.... bbbrrraaaiiinnnsss.... shuffle shuffle:: is not a good way to spend eternity) He reminded me how I want to be able to look in the mirror and think "Wow!". He reminded me that he made me a promise that he would help me keep my commitments to myself. And he told me to get in the car. We went to the gym.

I am so thankful for him. I grabbed my MP3 player and off we went. Do you know what? Do you!?

I completed Day 1 Week 1 of C25K! I completed it! I actually did! I am so proud of myself! It's a slow start. I did set the treadmill to 2.5 for my initial walk, then did the first couple intervals at a run 3.0 and a walk 2.5. After that I thought I was going to pass out. It was so hard. I thought in my head.. I NEED TO STOP!!! And this little voice... this little strong voice quietly whispered... I don't want to stop... and I listened to the whisper and realized that was the real me. That was the me who wanted to succeed. So I didn't stop. I did the next four intervals at a run 2.5 and a walk 2.0. Then for the final two intervals, when I was sweating my rearend off and huffing and puffing, I did them at a run 3.0 walk 2.0. I did finish off my 5 minute walk at a 2.0 and then did some additional time at a 1.0. All in all distance wise I did 1.25 miles. Eventually the program will get me up to 3.1 miles, a 5K, within 30 minutes. I am so proud of my progress though. Really really proud. I think I deserve a sticker...