Monday, June 7, 2010

The hidden dangers of.... things hidden

I actually recorded and tracked all of my food today. And just as I was about to congratulate myself on a job well done, I then looked at my total calories eaten!!

For the love of all things holy! I overate by 1000 calories.

::shuffle shuffle:: BRRRAAAIIIIINNNNSSSSS ::shuffle shuffle::

I think I hear them coming closer.

Seriously, 1000 calories? That is almost all of tomorrow's calories. It certainly opened my eyes to how out of whack my perceptions of food have become. I am way out of practice. It's time to get back to it.

Incidentally, I realized today when it comes to fighting zombies, you should walk softly and carry a big gun. That way, hopefully they won't hear you. If they do hear you, you happen to have a big gun you can blow their brains out with. (which depending on if it has just eaten means aiming for the had or the stomach.) Barring that, there is the old fall back of RUN THE HECK AWAY! This is the part I was training for today. Yes indeedy, I went to the Y.

HOLY COW. Let me tell you something. Those extra 30 seconds of jogging added in are nothing to sneeze at. They are something to pant and sweat and swear at! But I did it anyway. I DID NOT manage to run the full intervals with the exception of the first and second to last one. But I don't care. I am improving and I felt so good having completed it. I even added an additional 5 minutes of walking onto the end. I want to keep adding walking time so that I am walking a full 30 minutes extra on top of the running portions. Walking just makes me FEEL good.

There is this wonderful sensation that comes over me sometimes when I am doing a run section. When I am into the music and am able to fully concentrate on my running and breathing, I feel like I am flying. I can feel a smile just take over my face and I wonder when I became a girl who smiles while running. I'm 281lbs as of this morning. My highest recorded weight ever, and I feel like I can do something.

Now. If I could just get the pain in my calves to go away while I am running, things would be golden! But Not too much at once ey?

I'm totally a fat girl running. Before Spark I wouldn't have even given this concept a thought. You need to BE thin to start running. Running just makes you strong and keeps you thin, right? Where do we get these notions from. Is it because no one ever told us we could? Is it because people told us we couldn't? I know that a great deal of my self doubt stems from school. I could never complete the mile run in high school. I was overweight then too, but not by this much. So if I couldn't do it then, I sure as heck can't do it now, right?

WRONG!!! WRONG!!! All of it! So Wrong!

The truth is, if your body will take it, (and it will take so much more than you think it will) than YES YOU CAN DO IT! And anyone who has a problem with you or the fact you are trying to meet your goals be damned!

So get a good look at it now Zombies. Fantasize about it super-sized with cheese a drink and a dinky plastic toy, because I am running this fat tush right off!


An Educated Rabbit said...

Absolutely inspiring!!

fatgirl_vs_world said...

The first time i ran 10k on the elliptical I thought i was going to DIE.

When I didn't I was so amped up with a feeling of "Fuck yeah! Bring it on!"

The next day, not so much...

but then I ran another 10k... and I knew it wasn't a fluke.

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