Thursday, August 4, 2011

Results

I have been quiet lately. That doesn’t mean that I have been slacking of or anything though. I, for some reason, have just been feeling quiet. It might be because I have just been concentrating on taking care of me for a while. In any case, I thought it was time to share some progress.

(On a side not, I’m happy with my typing progress. The entire top paragraph was typed, without error, while watching my husband dance to Pink’s Raise Your Glass)

We had some bad news, which I may or may not have shared. But Hubby’s internship came to an end and he wasn’t hired on permanently, so he is out of work again. It’s just a bad time to be looking for work, but that isn’t really news these days, is it. But something we struggle with continually is not falling into a depression over the situation we find ourselves in. We lost our house not too long ago and steady well paying work hasn’t been seen in well over a year now. We are lucky to have people we can rely on and a place to live, but lets not pretend the blah’s and sadness don’t creep up more than we would like them to.

I used to be an emotional eater. I’m a recovering emotional eater? I’m not sure what to call it. When I am sad, depressed, bored… I want to eat. But I’m not. Since starting weight watchers, I just feel like I somehow out of the depths of my soul or something, have pulled the ability to control myself. I’ve developed self control. That doesn’t mean that I don’t indulge now and then, but I do it because I want to and not because I am REACTING to the situation around me. The urges are still there though. And each day is a little bit of a struggle. Those of you who live in a household where you don’t control what food is around will be able to commiserate with me. When you have a sweet tooth, but don’t want to just binge on sweets, but the cabinets are full of cookies, cakes and donuts, it’s a special kind of hell.

I am persevering though. This Monday when I weighed in, I not only hit my 10% lost, but I hit 30lbs gone. THIRTY POUNDS… that’s a toddler. A TODDLER, PEOPLE! I posted it on Facebook. And some of my friends asked for a photo. So I asked hubby to take one of me. As I was loading the picture onto my computer, I decided to clear the memory card and sort all of my pictures.

Oh. My. GOD. I found pictures from before I started WW. They are pictures from the beginning of the year, around my birthday. I almost cried. I feel so sorry for the girl in those pictures. I barely recognized me. I finally realized that no, I’m not imagining my clothes are fitting loser. I’m not imagining that I can actually see my smile better when I smile. I’m not imagining that I really CAN fit into that shirt that was too small at the beginning of the year. This is really happening. I am really making it happen.

It sounds silly I realize, but somewhere in the back of my head, all of the little results I was seeing were because I wanted to see results. They weren’t because my efforts were actually paying off. I knew the numbers on the scale were moving, but it’s hard to really put that into perspective for yourself.

So… would you like to see the pictures?

DSC01038DSC01647

Around 280

aug82011 (2)aug82011 (4)

Around 250

I can certainly see the difference.

8 comments:

Fat Girl vs. World said...

http://twitter.com/#!/HouseOfTater/statuses/99165278419689472

Sandelightful said...

This is so unbelievably exciting, there are no words! I am so happy for you, so very proud of you, so...just...thrilled!!!!
You are doing something you never thought you could do. Not talking about doing it or dreaming of doing it, not trying to do it...you ARE doing it!!!
YEY!

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

That's a big milestone! And I can definitely see the difference! Good for you. :)

Tamyr Sigourney said...

I can too and I commend you for it. So sorry about the other stuff life throws at you but I'm glad you have your emotional eating in control. I'm an emotional eater myself & I have yet to learn to control that. I start on Monday. This weekend is prepping for everything else.
Congratulations! :)

Stacy said...

You look great!!!! Congratulations on your amazing accomplishments. It is one thing to lose weight but another to change your lifestyle like you have done.

Boppingbeth (aka Beth or Elizabeth) said...

You go GIRL! I am so proud of you!

Kristin said...

Wow! What a great accomplishment! I hope you can keep it up!

Crystal said...

Thank you so much everyone! I don't update daily, but I write as often as I can. I'd love for you to keep checking back with me! Making life changes is a slow process but I truly feel better for it. I'm looking better these days too. :D

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