Saturday, October 30, 2010

But it sounded good at the time...

First of all, Hello to my New followers!!

Dinner tonight was about as far away from healthy as you can possibly get. It sounded so good at the time. Now I feel like a run over slug. Live and learn though right? Next time this particular thing sounds good, I am going to remember this feeling.

Tomorrow is Halloween, and do you know what? I am going to be indulging in chocolate. I don't even feel guilty about it. Do you know why? Because I am allowing myself to have it. I refuse to go through this life without chocolate. So there.

That being said... I did quite a bit of thinking tonight. Most of my relevant thoughts came to me while sitting in the restaurant of obscene unhealthiness actually...

I've discovered I need a plan. I have all of the tools that I need to succeed. But I need a game plan. When I first started doing curves, I lost 25lbs in 3 months. All I was doing was going to curves religiously and doing Weight Watchers. I haven't had that kind of success since. I'm somehow fitter and fatter now then I was then. I don't know how that happened. But my heart and lungs are in a better condition than they were then I think.

You know what is upsetting though? When I did that... lost 25lbs in 3 months... I didn't celebrate it. I couldn't see what a tremendous achievement it was because of how far I had to go. I want to kick that girl. Those thoughts in and of themselves don't help very much. But it does make me realize that I need structure. I abhore the idea of making meal plans, but it WORKS. Knowing what I am going to eat, how many calories it is, and where I have room to sneak in a snack when I simply must munch something works for me. I don't know why I have this rebellious person inside of me that just refuses to do it. It's stupid and it makes me feel out of control.

I am in so little control right now of anything that I don't want my eating to be another one of those things. I've nearly never been in control of my eating. Right now there isn't a whole lot I can take control of. So this (the eating) and getting my cheeseburger butt to the gym are two things that I can control.

I need control and a plan... and for my partner in this to kick my into gear when I am shirking my responsibility. Everyone needs someone to remind them why they are working so hard sometimes.

Also... I need to get off the fence and make a decision. Either I am going to make the effort to sit down and learn the ins and outs of the bodybugg food recording system, or I am going to record all of my food on spark and my calories on the bodybugg site. I love everything about them except the software for recording food. It drives me insane and makes me not want to do it. I wish there was a way to just tell it how many calories you ate at the end of the day rather than needing to input every meal. It's so much easier recording food on Spark.

I need to come clean to myself and admit that I don't measure anything anymore. That is one of my issues right there. I don't know my portions well enough to just wing it. I think I have given myself a few more things to think about.

Happy Halloween everyone! And watch out for those zombies!


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