Up and Down

Hi there. It’s been a little while since I’ve updated the Zombie blog here. Sorry about that. It isn’t that I haven’t wanted to write, but sometimes I lack inspiration. I don’t always have exciting zombie filled action to talk about.

Lately things have been a little rocks. I’m still losing, so that is really good. It’s been an up and down battle for a month or so now though. I’ll lose a little, and then the following week gain, and then take a week or two to lose more, and then gain… etc. I’ve been trying to watch my eating habits and how my activity points are adding up.

My activity definitely goes in an up and down pattern also. So that is part of it right there. Also, my eating fluctuates based on when in the month it is. At the beginning of the month we have food stamps, so we can go and do a big shopping trip and stock up on fresh healthy wonderful things. By the end of the month, things are tight and we’re eating less healthy and more possessed.

We’ve had the house to ourselves for most of this week though, so up until last night eating has gone really well. I’ve been enjoying mostly soup and salad for dinner and it has been making my tummy sing! Last night however, I got hit with the urge for hot dogs. Oh heavens the hot dogs.

Zombies are almost as attracted to hot dogs as they are to corn dogs. Our street has been zombie clear for a little while now, but last night I could see them coming. They could smell those hot dogs, man. They could tell I was getting fatter just sitting there. There was one trying to get on the porch and he had a chefs hat on. I hid the relish… I don’t want to give them ideas.

So, today it is back on track to try and have a good sowing for my weigh in on Monday. Some days I feel so confident about everything. Some days, not so much. It’s also very apparent, that eating is so linked to my emotional states. I mean, I know this. I think most of us do. I have however been able to watch the cycles lately though. This is a really stressful time right now. There are –things- happening in the background which I’ll bring to the foreground once I am a little bit more sure of them. These things however have me under a lot of stress. Stress makes me craze sweet things, it also makes me rebel in a strange way against doing things that are good for me.

I don’t understand why this happens, but at least I can watch for it. There are some hard decisions being made right now, and sometimes when that happens, I just want a hot dog. Or as the case may be lately… chocolate or a cookie. I just need to find that strength to reach inside and say… Okay, girl… I know. But come now, you know you want –THIS- more.

Updates

Updates are coming soon, I promise. It's just been kind of crazy around here. This is just a quick post to show off a special badge that was awarded to me for my progress. Thanks SL!

Plants VS Zombies

Have you tried this game? Plants VS Zombies is fun, addictive and GOOD TRAINING. Seriously, there is a good life lesson going on in the little pixelated world.

The zombies are coming after you! You can hear them across the street breaking down the fence. You're hiding in your house unsure of what to do!!! AHA!! PLANT THINGS!! Plants keep the zombies away. It's true. Oh sure in the scheme of the game it's because they pop out of the ground and start firing and fighting off the impending doom, but let's take a look at my and your every day life here.

You know the zombies get closer to you the worse you treat your body. So if you eat junk and stagnate, they tend to catch up quickly. If you aren't careful, they will grab hold of you and turn you into a mindless eating machine just like they are. This is undesireable, trust me. If you don't trust me, watch any one of the million zombie movies on the market these days. You don't want to become one of these. Agreed? Good.

So what do you do? First of all. Go outside. Plant something! Did you know gardening if one of the best activities you can do? I didn't know this. Apparently though, it gently works pretty much your entire body. Now, gently is a relative term here. If you don't move at all and then throw yourself headlong into gardening, you're going to hurt the next day, lets be honest here. But like starting any other new activity, take it slow and build up your stamina for it. Then, not only are you working your body, making it stronger and leaner, you will have something either delicious or beautiful to show for it. In many cases, it will be beautiful AND delicious.

Those plants you put in your yard will absolutely help you keep the zombie horde away. Eating fresh natural things helps you put up a temporary shield against the zombies. It doesn't last unless you keep fueling it with healthy fresh things though. And the act of gardening, gives you the stamina and fitness to outrun though buggers when they come calling. They will come calling! So think about it...

There's a Zombie on your lawn! There's a zombie on your lawn! There's a zombie on the lawn, we don't want zombies on the lawn!

Unity

It’s motivational Monday here on the zombie blog. I was searching for something to write about today and thinking about what has been keeping me motivated lately. As you know, if you have been reading along, I recently fell off the wagon, dusted myself off, and got right back on. This is the point, in previous attempts and losing weight and getting healthy, where I would have quit. I didn’t quit though. I simply learned from the experience and kept on going.

Why? What is different this time? A couple of things are different. The first is, I just feel more committed than I did before. It’s not that I don’t want to look awesome, or get my fertility under control, because I do. Mostly though, I want to live and be healthy. The second thing, is that there is a horde of the undead chomping at my heels if I slow down. That will keep anyone moving, believe me! I don’t want to become one of those mindless eating machines that shuffles through life single mindedly looking for the next meal! Besides, you never get invited to the good parties when you’re a zombie.

The most important difference though, is a solid support system though. This time, there are other people on the journey with me who are as committed as I am. My best friend got me started because she was already doing Weight Watchers and it was working very well for her. Her mother, who is another awesome lady is doing it too and finding success! I started the program and fell in love with it. It works. Soon after I started, I was able to get my husband going on the program. It’s working for him too.

My journey has been made easier by having someone who lives with me and goes through the same eating minefield that I do every day. My parents, whom we live with, are about as far away from us on the eating spectrum as you can get. It’s a challenge to open the cupboards and the freezer on a daily basis and be bombarded with things you aren’t going to eat. That doesn’t mean they still aren’t tempting. I don’t fault them for this, or anyone else for that matter. Just as I don’t assume they will try and change the way I eat, I’m not going to make them change the way they eat. Of course I want them to be healthy, but I have enough to say on this matter that I am going to save it for another post.

The heart of the matter is, my husband and I fell off the wagon together, and we jumped back on together. When I shed tears because I was disappointed in myself he wiped them away and reminded me of all of the tremendous victories I’ve had so far. My best friend showed me how easy it was to dust yourself off and keep going when she had a few days that set her back on the scale, and she told me how proud she was for gaining a little weight and getting right back to it. We are all about self sufficiency today. But trust me when I tell you, for something this big, you need a group to unify around you. You will need them, and they will need you. I’m not afraid to rely on those closest to me for help with this journey, and I hope they all know that I am here for them also.

 

Remember, the zombies have a united front. You should too!

Lunch Date

Well this whole journey is about learning isn't it? Learning how to make positive life changes, learning what choices make me happy, learning how to be healthy AND happy, and of course learning how to avoid the zombies and their undead dominion.

Recently, I've learned quite a bit. I learned that while eating treats now and then helps keep me focused by reminding me that this journey isn't about suffering, that a three day binge is NOT ok. I also learned I am strong enough to recognize this and to dust myself off and keep right on going. I learned than even though it is hot and humid outside, I really do feel better when I walk in the evenings. On cooler days I even love when I get to walk during the days.

Today I'm going to put a learning experience into effect and see what happens. Not too long ago, we went out for sushi for lunch/dinner. I didn't over do it or over eat which was my first concern. I did however, got a bit over board on the points. Having fried foods in the sushi really did me in. So today I am going out to lunch with my wonderful supportive hubby. I plan to have California/Philadelphia rolls and Veggie rolls.

I'm making dinner tonight again also, so I know the points will be light. I'm confident in having an on point day!

Those zombies are falling behind again. "bbbrbrrraaaiiiiinnnnnssssss"

Yeah, keep on trecking zombies. You've got a long way to go to catch me. I've said it before, and I think it bears repeating. I don't mind someone staring at my butt, I just don't want them to be thinking "I want cheese on that" while doing it. Ha!

I also learned recently, that some new folks are joining us reading here on the zombie blog. Hi! I was thanked recently for sharing my personal journey. That really touched me. All I can say is... you're welcome and that it's my pleasure. I've taken so much from reading other people's stories, I hope I can give back in some way. I try to approach this all with a bit of humor and a lot of heart. If YOU need a cheerleader, just let me know. There more the merrier in the fight against the zombies!

The ups and downs

I went on Safari this month. Uh huh. Did you know that the animals of the Serengeti are subject to the zombie plague as well? You know what is dangerous about that? Well, other than hot plains full of undead animals.... They are FASTER than regular zombies!!! I wasn't prepared. I didn't have my running shoes! I didn't even have a real gun! I just had some fancy moves I've picked up throughout this journey. So, I took some scratches and tumbles. I scraped my knees, and dirtied up my new safari gear.

No... not really. But they did catch me this month. I've had my first gain since starting the program. I know it's a natural part of the process, but it's still hard to swallow. I gained 4lbs exactly. My anniversary was on the 16th, My uncles birthday party on the 20, and my husbands birthday on the 22nd. That was just a lot of events all at one time. If I'm going to be honest, I was so busy being in love on my anniversary that I didn't even bother to eat properly. I went on a food vacation. I will NEVER do that again. Oh god... I feel so god awful for having done it. Also, it's been making the good choices, the ones I was making without even thinking, SO MUCH HARDER. So for my own peace of mind, I won't be doing that again.

Watch out for those zombies. They can be tricksie!

The bottom line is... I knew I was going to have a small gain. I tried to prepare myself for it and it didn't really work. Now, I am very very eager to have a good on point week and rack up some activity points. I earned 16 last week, which is a new high for me. So my aim is to beat that this week. I've been walking in the evenings when it cools down ever so slightly. My goal is to also start yoga back up again. I want to be and feel stronger. I could really use t hat sense of well being and being able to take care of myself. Sometimes, I just feel like I'm being tossed around in the wind a bit.

When you're fighting the zombie plague, you definitely want to know you have a sturdy safe house to retreat to. I want my body to feel like my safe house again. I think it might take a few weeks to get back to that feeling. That scares me. I need to trust myself and get right back on the plan and do what I need to do. Backwards progress just tends to terrify me. On previous 'diets' this would usually be the point where I gave up. I can't let myself do that this time though. Before this gain, I was 32lbs lost. That's amazing to me and I can't let it stop there.

Results

I have been quiet lately. That doesn’t mean that I have been slacking of or anything though. I, for some reason, have just been feeling quiet. It might be because I have just been concentrating on taking care of me for a while. In any case, I thought it was time to share some progress.

(On a side not, I’m happy with my typing progress. The entire top paragraph was typed, without error, while watching my husband dance to Pink’s Raise Your Glass)

We had some bad news, which I may or may not have shared. But Hubby’s internship came to an end and he wasn’t hired on permanently, so he is out of work again. It’s just a bad time to be looking for work, but that isn’t really news these days, is it. But something we struggle with continually is not falling into a depression over the situation we find ourselves in. We lost our house not too long ago and steady well paying work hasn’t been seen in well over a year now. We are lucky to have people we can rely on and a place to live, but lets not pretend the blah’s and sadness don’t creep up more than we would like them to.

I used to be an emotional eater. I’m a recovering emotional eater? I’m not sure what to call it. When I am sad, depressed, bored… I want to eat. But I’m not. Since starting weight watchers, I just feel like I somehow out of the depths of my soul or something, have pulled the ability to control myself. I’ve developed self control. That doesn’t mean that I don’t indulge now and then, but I do it because I want to and not because I am REACTING to the situation around me. The urges are still there though. And each day is a little bit of a struggle. Those of you who live in a household where you don’t control what food is around will be able to commiserate with me. When you have a sweet tooth, but don’t want to just binge on sweets, but the cabinets are full of cookies, cakes and donuts, it’s a special kind of hell.

I am persevering though. This Monday when I weighed in, I not only hit my 10% lost, but I hit 30lbs gone. THIRTY POUNDS… that’s a toddler. A TODDLER, PEOPLE! I posted it on Facebook. And some of my friends asked for a photo. So I asked hubby to take one of me. As I was loading the picture onto my computer, I decided to clear the memory card and sort all of my pictures.

Oh. My. GOD. I found pictures from before I started WW. They are pictures from the beginning of the year, around my birthday. I almost cried. I feel so sorry for the girl in those pictures. I barely recognized me. I finally realized that no, I’m not imagining my clothes are fitting loser. I’m not imagining that I can actually see my smile better when I smile. I’m not imagining that I really CAN fit into that shirt that was too small at the beginning of the year. This is really happening. I am really making it happen.

It sounds silly I realize, but somewhere in the back of my head, all of the little results I was seeing were because I wanted to see results. They weren’t because my efforts were actually paying off. I knew the numbers on the scale were moving, but it’s hard to really put that into perspective for yourself.

So… would you like to see the pictures?

Around 280

Around 250

I can certainly see the difference.